A letter to my Future Daughter In Law

As a mother I knew that one day each of my children would adventure into this big world without me. It has been our prayer that our children would have a strong love for the Lord, follow hard after their calling in the Lord, and marry a mate that would love God first, and have unconditionally love for them.

Some people don’t believe in soul mates; I’m not really sure that I do, either. But I do believe matches made in Heaven – matches made by the Heavenly Father.

When God created my children and their future spouses, he did so with a unique purpose. He designed them all with specific traits and quirks, strengths, and passions. And when He created them, He knew that they would be able to do more for His glory together than they would apart.

Michele with the her new daughter in law, Gabriella.

I remember feeding my little ones, while rocking them to sleep, praying for their future. Someone once said that there are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother.

Those prayers were answered when our daughter walked down the aisle to become Mrs. Jesse Bane.

We were blessed to know our son-in-law since he was a little boy. And it has been a privilege to watch him grow in the Lord and become the man that makes our daughter so happy.

Beautiful Bride and Groom photoshoot on a pier.
Jesse and Kyrsten Bane on their wedding day. I can't believe it's been two years already!

As we are praying for our sons to become strong men of God, we are also praying that God will lead them to their future wives.

So when our son, Nicholas, introduced us to Gabriella I knew that he found someone special. It came as no surprise to the family when he proposed marriage.

My son and daughter-in-law's Engagement photo at rock state park

We were over the moon excited as we already loved her like family. She fits perfectly in our very large, loud, and crazy tribe.

I couldn’t wait to host the bridal shower!

As the day drew closer the Lord began to stir my heart in regards to Nicholas and Gabriella and their upcoming life together. With Gabriella’s permission I am sharing the letter that I gave her on the day of her wedding.

My son and daughter in law's engagement photos at kilgore falls
Nick and Gabriella's engagement photo

Dear Gabriella,

I remember my first thoughts of you. Nicholas was just a baby then...sleeping in my arms. As

he slept I would pray.

I prayed for his life. I prayed that he would love the Lord with his whole heart. And I prayed for you. I prayed that his future wife would be taught about the love of God by a big loving family. I prayed that God would guide your footsteps and protect your heart. I prayed that you would know Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. I prayed that you would love my son unconditionally.

I still pray for you every day. I pray for wisdom as you continue your education. I pray for supernatural strength as you face the challenges of becoming the woman of your new home. I pray that you and Nick do life together. I pray that your arguments (and there will be plenty!) only draws you closer together. That you learn the art of compromise and forgiveness. I pray that you won’t kill him when you find his clothes on the floor…again.

I want to warn you, there will be days that you won’t like him very much.

Nights, as you lay beside him, that you will question your choice of marriage to him. But I pray, in those angry, emotional, and totally exhausting times that you will ask the Lord to remind you of the commitment you made and what made you fall in love with him.

Satan will try to destroy your marriage.

I pray that you fight for your marriage…even on those days you cannot stand Nick and you definitely don’t feel “in love.” Be patient. Take a deep breath. The mushy lovey feeling will come back.

I pray that you listen to him and all of his crazy dreams. Encourage him. Be his soft place. Protect his heart. And give him the grace to fail. I want you to know that Dad and I are always here for you. We’ll support you and encourage you on this journey of love. We don’t expect perfection from you.

So go ahead…fail, stumble, and even fall. We will always love you!

We promise to mind our own business, always apologize, and to always be the babysitter for our grand-babies. We are so blessed to call you daughter.



For those of you who may be waiting for God to send you the right person, remember that God will reveal your future spouse when the timing is perfect.

In the meantime, keep working on growing closer to God and building a relationship with Him so that when it is time, you will be ready.

The story of how you came to know God will be one that defines you and shapes you into the person that He has called you to be. Your story has power and purpose, and when your spouse enters it, it will be well worth the wait.

There may be times when you feel alone and that you might always feel that way. I encourage you to keep praying for your future spouse. I don't mean just praying that God will send you someone, I mean praying for them and their walk with God.

Pray that God will keep their heart pure. Pray that God would protect them through their walk with Him. Pray that He will give them Godly Character.

While you are still looking for the one God has chosen for you to marry, remember this bible verse to know when the love you might feel for someone is real:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

My son nick and daughter-in-law Gabriella after getting engaged

There will be days that you don’t like your future spouse very much. There will be times that you disagree; times that you want to say something mean, and days that you think that marriage is just too hard.

But when those days come, and they will, I want you to remember these eight marriage-saving words:

I love you.

I’m sorry.

I forgive you.

Hold these words close to you, say them often, and accept them freely. Bind them to your heart and never stop trusting in the plan that God has for you and your husband/wife.

Take care of your spouse's heart. Cherish the gift that they are and love them as only you can. The two of you are going to do amazing things for His glory together!


Do you have children who are married or engaged? If so, tell me how you make your children's spouses feel welcome in your family in the comment section below.

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#marriage #wedding #motherInLaw #DaughterInLaw

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About Me

Welcome to our home, my name is Michele. My husband, Walter, and I have been happily married (most of the time) for 28 years. My husband is the Pastor of Strong Tower Church while I work as a Critical Care Nurse. Together, we have been blessed with 10 beautiful children.

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