Marriage isn’t “I promise to love you until I stop loving you.”
It’s “I promise to make a conscious decision to continue to love you when it’s hard because I’m aware that no one is perfect, but you are worth it.”
Society today tells us to walk away, to seek to please ourselves, and go find another. I’m so thankful, that even during some very difficult times in our marriage, that Walter and I CHOSE to stay committed to our covenant of marriage.
Looking back now, I know it was only by the grace of God that we now celebrate 28 years of marriage. It’s been quite the journey. We have climbed some steep mountains, crossed rising waters, and weathered some major storms together. But life teaches us lessons. Marriage can be crazy, so here are a few things that we have learned:
Happy marriages are based on deep friendships
Walter and I met in Bible College, when he asked to borrow my pen. (what a pick up line!) Our friendship began to blossom. We realized that we liked the same thing...taking long walks, yard sales, hunting and so much more. We would talk about our dreams of the future and we soon realized that we wanted a lot of the same things.
Now, we still take walks in the woods, enjoy antiquing together, and love our large family.
Date night increases happiness, positive communication and sexual satisfaction
Remember your first date with your spouse? Remember the excitement, the nervousness, and the simple joy of just wanting to be together? A good marriage is built on dating your spouse! I remember putting the little ones to bed early while Walter cooked one very small steak on the grill for us to share. Sometimes he would stop and pick up two ice cream cones on the way home from work.
After the kids were all snuggled into their beds we would sit on the porch and eat our dessert, hold hands, and talk. You don’t have to go to fancy restaurants or long weekends away. Just spend time together. And KISS….lots of kissing!
Share Meals, Share Adventures, Share Your Passions
It’s amazing how, with a little imagination and creativity, a grilled cheese sandwich (with a candle in the middle) can be romantic. It’s not always what you are eating, but rather who you are eating with.
We have hiked together, traveled to Europe together, and spent some very long romantic nights camping together. It’s about making memories with each other!
Share Your Passions
I married a preacher. His heart is not for the “churched” but for those whose lives are completely lost. He is at his best when feeding the hungry, praying for the addict, and buying a meal for the homeless. So from day one I jumped on board…encouraging him in his calling from the Lord.
He, in return, totally supports my passion for our homeschool community. So while I may be helping a new homeschool mom with finding a curriculum, he takes our kids outside to play. It’s called teamwork!
Share the Load
Now days most marriage consist of both husband and wife working outside of the home. Add some kids, along with life commitments, and you get STRESS. The only chance of survival is team work. Talk about your expectations. Don’t ever assume that your spouse can read your mind! Many arguments have begun due to assumptions. I mean, why wouldn’t my husband start the laundry while I am at work?
Oh my…this is where communication is vital. The goal is to function together as a team.
Marriage psychologist (yes, there is such a thing) say that we should touch our spouse in a non-sexual manner at least 12 times per day.
This includes the simple things like placing your hand on his shoulder, or the small of her back. Hold hands often, hug in the middle of the day, and give him a long passionate kiss while cooking dinner. Remember to whisper “I love you” or send a juicy text message (ok, this might get you in trouble if your kids read your messages!). Keep it spicy!
Remember What Made You Fall in Love
There will be moments, probably MANY moments, when you will have NO clue why you ever married your spouse. But love is a commitment.
And therefore, you will need to remind yourself why you first fell in love. Visit where you first met, play a song that brings up a funny memory of those crazy dating days, and talk about the good times. Satan does not want your marriage to succeed. But God not only wants it to succeed but to flourish. He wants you to delight in your spouse. It will take hard work. But it’s so worth the effort.
Protect each other, pray with each other, and laugh often!
Thank you so much for reading! It would mean the world to me if you left a like and shared the post! It's really simple! Just click one of the social media icons at the bottom of the post!
What do you do to show your spouse that you love them? Let us know in the comment section below!
If you would like to join the Raising Our Tribe Parenting Forum, click here to sign up!
To receive notifications of new posts, download our app!
Did you like this post and want to keep seeing more content like this? Consider becoming a patreon to help support Raising Our Tribe!