If your kids are anything like mine they disappear when I get in cleaning mode...or they get a sudden onset of diarrhea and lock themselves in the bathroom. Whichever the case, they are out of sight. But that's okay, because the silence has caused me to ponder many things. So, I thought I'd share what I've learned while cleaning the toilet.
1. I invented ice coffee. You're Welcome
It was quite simple...I had kids, I made my coffee, I got busy and left my coffee on the counter and BAM! We now have ice coffee.
2. What is this word "sleep" I hear people talking about?
I have officially concluded that I am part of a mad science experiment that sleep is not crucial to human life.
3. I found my goal for raising my kids
I found my goal for my kids...to love them, nurture them, and give them just enough dysfunction to make us all happy...or in need of therapy (whatever!)
4. I can't wait until my kids are in bed!
Once my kids fall asleep I can get out my hidden snacks and watch HGTV in silence...until Walter falls asleep and starts snoring.
5. I don't believe in yelling at kids.
It doesn't work. But if you lean closely and whisper it will completely freak them out...or hide their cell phone chargers. Oh it's a beautiful thing!
6. I can only cook large meals!
I've concluded that I am no longer able to cook for any group smaller than an Army platoon.
7. I'm very biblical...much like Noah.
I do things in twos. Two loads of dishes daily, two loads of laundry daily and so on.
8. The best meal for my kids is a free meal!
I can easily spout off the restaurants in our area that provide a "kids eat free" night.
9. My driveway looks like a used car lot!
It's rather embarrassing having all of these cars in my driveway.
10. I realized that my van has more seatbelts than windows. I know..shocking.
11. I do most of my praying in the bathroom.
NO judging! It is often the only quiet time I get during the day!
12. I think my kids are toilet paper dealers
I am positive that one of my kids is sneaking rolls of toilet paper out of the house and selling them. There is NO way we should be using this much toilet paper!
13. Our 15 passenger van is large enough to hold the family. But when we go camping we have to take a least one more vehicle for camping gear.
14. I have the power!
With driving teens, I get so excited when I take possession of the car keys. It's thrilling.
15. I think I have a laundromat in my basement...
It's open all night and I still can't seem to find an empty machine.
16. My grocery bill is higher than my house payment!
17. I have a secret...
I know where the bathroom is in any store....just saying.
18. When kids feel better they behave better.
19. Training tiny humans is exhausting!
20. And I love my neighbors...most whom I've never met.
They completely pretends they can't hear me screaming like a psycho at the boys...who are busy shooting each other with airguns. Oh, this would look so bad to the right "officials." ha ha ha
So go clean your toilets and learn some life lessons!
You might also enjoy: https://www.raisingourtribe.org/post/essential-life-skills-for-teens
Get those kids to help out!
Teens need responsibility: https://www.raisingourtribe.org/post/working-teens